A prominent sports psychologist explains the difference between high performers and those who aren’t. One of the differences is the willingness to go to the edge of your emotional stability. How can you pursue your potential if you are not willing to test/explore the limits of your own capacities? When you take the leap to “go for it,” and it doesn’t happen, there is a definite pain in going to the edge of your capacity. I have felt that pain after my defeat.
I thought I was doing fine, until two days ago, I was heading in my car to New Smryna Beach, where I have a favorite spot to do my work. All of a sudden, I burst out crying. It was more than crying, however. It was a total meltdown, and I didn’t even understand it. All I knew was that something hit me—something inside needed to be released and it was a meltdown. I thought I was okay, but knew I was hitting rock bottom for a reason.
I turned the car around and headed home. I did not want to sit in isolation, so I immediately called a few friends in my crisis moment. It’s interesting to me how people react to an immediate crisis need. One friend started preaching a sermon to me. “Sorry! I don’t need that right now!” I said. Another said, “Go to a bookstore and do some reading.” Give me a break! I don’t need a bandaid on a tsunami. Another started talking about her story when I needed someone to just hear mine for a moment. Another said, “Veronica, I will BE with you. I will come over and pray with you.” Bingo. She came, she sat, she listened with intent, she prayed. She CARED for me–and somehow in my journey, I have needed the tangible essence of care. She offered that in my breakdown moment.
But something else happened right after that. It stunned me. The attention turned to her and her challenges. We began talking about a certain relationship she was in–one where she was being treated as “less than” the quality person she was–and the dynamics of false submission she was playing into that was bringing unnecessary suffering upon herself. She needed to release her own suppressed voice of leadership which was the opposite movement of what she was doing.
All of a sudden, the gold–not the golf! LOL—started rising up in me. This amazing wisdom–perfectly articulated for her situation came gushing out of me. Another kind of tsunami–a flood of impartation, guidance, and empowerment for her.
I stopped right in the middle of what I was saying, realizing the shift that was taking place in me. “Oh my gosh! My entire state of mental/emotional being just shifted. I feel this power coming out of the center of who I am!” It was an amazing GOLD MEDAL MOMENT, realizing right in the middle of my messy emotions, I had power immediately accessible to me that came out when my attention turned towards helping another.
In the act of reaching out to another in my breakdown, discerning who the right person was to meet my need, I also came to see that I was also the right person to meet my need! LOL. We met one another’s needs. It was a beautiful empowering moment.
I share this because emotions fuel everything. They cannot be denied. They have to be processed and dealt with. Behind the emotions, however, is something more. Something deeper. It’s the wisdom you gain from your walk that is meant to be shared, released, and multiplied into another.
I believe this is the beauty and power of love-based performance. I don’t hide my pain. I process it. And it has to be done so in relationship for the best and most expedient outcome. Part of that is knowing who the right person is to minister to you in the moment. You want to find the sweetspot, not a glancing blow, to meet your need.
This was just one of the breakthroughs that came from my breakdown–but that’s for another post!
Through this process I have heard from so many of you who expressed blessing–and your own need to arise from defeat and advance to victory in this season. As a result, I will be offering The Champion’s Way: Training for Reigning life-coaching course again shortly. If you would like to apply to be a part of this small group master class, please reach out to me:
firstname.lastname@example.org. It’s time to find your gold, arise from defeat and advance to victory!